Have you
noticed how difficult it can be to maintain a positive outlook? That seems counter-intuitive to me. Shouldn’t we want to be happy, without worry
and anxiety? Yet, many people remain
stuck in a cycle of negativity with only slight glimpses of happiness. Even when things are going well in their
lives, they are not content. Why does it
seem that some people require the presence of drama and conflict? Why is their natural focus on the
negative? Curiosity about this topic
sent me into research mode and I found out some interesting things about what
makes us tick.
Negativity defined:
For our
purposes, Dictionary.com provides a nice, concise definition:
Negativity:
Lacking in constructiveness,
helpfulness, optimism, cooperativeness, or the like.
Why are we so negative?
So, by
definition, a negative focus is not helpful or of any benefit to us. But the question remains – why do so many
people exist in a world of negativity instead of focusing on the positive
aspects of life?
I found a
few theories about this. First, the
world is always changing. Therefore, many
view everything in life as temporary.
This perspective makes loss a dominant theme. Loss is often associated with something
negative In addition, negative outcomes are assumed to
be a normal part of life. Has anyone
watched TV or gone to a movie lately?
The news is full of horrendous stories of people in the midst of painful
struggles. The most popular shows tend
to be about people in trouble, be it with the law, with a spouse, an alien
race, etc. And, don’t get me started on
video games! The common denominator here
is negativity. We seem to crave it, it
makes us feel better about our situation – at least my life isn’t that bad!
What can we do about it?
Are we
destined to stay rooted in the negative?
I don’t think so. There is so
much in life to be positive about, even when things are not going our way. What can we do to increase our positive
vibes? It is really up to each
individual because different things make different people happy. But, here are three things we can all do
right now to improve our lives.
Smile
– Sounds easy, right? That’s what I
thought - until I did a little experiment.
I wanted to figure out what my natural facial expression was like when I
wasn’t thinking about it. Well, the camera doesn’t lie folks, I’m a
scowler. I had no idea! So, I am now making a conscious effort to be
aware of my expression to make sure it matches what I’m really feeling. Sure, sometimes a scowl is an accurate
reflection but, more often than not, a smile is more appropriate. At first, smiling on command seemed forced
but now I can always find something to smile about. Turn that frown upside down kids!
Think Consciously
– My Buddhist buddies call this Conscious Awareness and I like it. Become aware of what you are thinking and
telling yourself. Negative self-talk can
be extremely destructive and is usually not even close to the truth. Finding a positive spin to bad situations may
seem impossible but every effort to do so will bring you closer to a healthy,
positive outlook.
Keep
Positive Company - Negativity is a contagion that
spreads like wildfire…but so is optimism!
Surrounding yourself with people who are able to maintain a positive
attitude in light of adversity will help you from spiraling into a negative
funk. If you find yourself caught in the
middle of a friend’s pity party, make an effort to guide them back to the good
side. If they refuse to cooperate and
would rather drag you down with them, don’t take the bait! If necessary, make a quick escape and check
on them later by phone, text or email. In the words of that famous song: Don't mess with Mr. In Between!
These are just a few things we can do right now to stop negativity in its
tracks. I highly suggest you try this at
home. I understand that it may be
difficult to put a positive spin on things, especially at the outset, but keep
trying. If nothing else, start with the
positive fact that you read this entire blog post!
